1st Day of School Tomorrow

Well, I know I haven’t been around much this past week.  It’s been a crazy week though as most of you know.

Thank heavens I was able to work things out with my Dad’s help and all though.  I’m so glad that I was able to get out of that other housing contract and get this new place at Twin Creeks now :).

I’ve been packing and moving all my stuff up there the past couple days.  We packed and moved most of my stuff up there on Saturday and took care of utilities etc. on Friday so things are slowly coming together now.

It’s not like I would have liked things to have gone with having time to pack, move, get settled and have things taken care of by the first day of school, but it will work out.  Speaking of which, tomorrow is the first day of school and I’m still moving.  Well, I don’t have as much left to move, but between myself and my parents going up there tomorrow before/after my classes we will be able to finish moving all my stuff up there.

Then the fun comes of unpacking and arranging all my stuff up there in my new place :).  I also still have to get hooked up to the internet in my new place and get the TV hooked up.  The joys of living on your own, the bills and all the fun things you have to get taken care of and done.

So, I’m excited to live in the Twin Creek apartments though and the manager is a really nice guy.  I will like dealing with him much better than I would have liked dealing with that housing director guy if he hadn’t let me out of that housing contract.

My apartment is on the top floor and so there isn’t as much noise up there with neighbors or what not.  Oh and I asked the manager about my little birdy, Zorro, he’s a little male zebra finch I have for those of you who don’t know.  Anyway, the manager told me I can bring my bird with me 😀 so I was pretty happy about that :).

This is going to be a good thing for me living on my own and going to school away from home.  It’ll be great in these community type apartments and with my bird and everything.

Anyway, I’ve been completely wiped out this past week with all my traveling to and from the college working out the housing situation and then moving.  I was thinking earlier today that I’d like to just go to sleep for the winter and hibernate lol.  I’ve just been so tired lately, but that’s life.

Well and they do say that whatever doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger, right.  So, tomorrow I’ll be going to my first day of school and finishing moving with my parents help so wish me luck :).

Oh and just to let you know, if I don’t post or you don’t see me around much this week, it’s because of this whole moving and all.  Well and mainly if you wonder where I am, just to let you know, I probably won’t be around much this week at all because I don’t have my internet hooked up at my new place yet.

I’m hoping to get my internet hooked up at my new place by the end of this week, but it might not get hooked up until the beginning of next week too depending on how things go.  So, I won’t be around because I won’t have internet access for a while in my new place, at least I don’t think I’ll be able to get internet hooked up at my new place any sooner than the end of this week.

So, don’t miss me too much lol :p.  I know I’ll have withdrawals not being able to get on the internet until the end of this week – ack!  Oh well, that’s the price you have to pay when you’re moving to a new place though, I suppose. 

I hope everyone has a good week and I’ll post again when I get my internet hooked up :).


Great News =)!!!

Here’s the update on my ongoing situation I’ve been dealing with in trying to get out of staying in the unwanted living arrangements on campus.  Everything all came together today and we were finally able to work the situation out :).

Yesterday we spent the day up there at the college again doing apartment hunting for most of the time.  We drove by a lot of scary places and I called and talked with lots of people.  We went by and saw inside quite a few places, talked with managers, owners, etc. and took some applications.  So, in short, we were pretty productive and made some good progress with it all yesterday :).

We ended up finding one place that would be a very good one and it was exactly what I wanted and felt the best about it.  I just felt like it was the right kind of place and that I could be really comfortable there so we talked to the manager about renting an apartment there.

The apartment he showed us was great and I was thinking I’d really like that apartment, but he said that he had someone else who was suppose to be coming and renting that apartment.  He also told us that he would have 2 or 3 more places available similar to that apartment he’d shown us by this weekend so we told him we’d call him back today and let me know our final decision.  We still had to call the guy with the on campus housing and make sure that was taken care of and that I could get out of that contract with getting my money refunded first though.

So, this morning I got up and called the on campus housing man and told him I had found another place that would work for me so could I get out of the contract and be refunded my money now.  At first, he didn’t sound happy at all and was still trying to push me into meeting this roommate and giving it a chance, but then my Dad stepped in on the conversation – he was also on the phone, did a conference call – and my Dad took over some of the conversation to make sure that this on campus housing man understood some things about our situation and all.  My Dad’s got a way with helping out and being good at talking to people in these kinds of situations, ya know and I did quite a bit of talking and discussing too, but my Dad helped out with the conversation also.

Then after my Dad and I talked with him for a little while, he said he’d call and talk to a staff member of his and see what he could work out.  He told us he’d call us right back, well, I don’t know how long it was until he called us back, but it seemed like it was forever and I was having a hard time staying calm waiting and wondering if it was going to work out and he’d let me out of my contract or not.

Finally, after a while, he called us back and told us that he hadn’t be able to find anything out yet.  His staff member he was trying to reach was unavailable for the time being so he told us he’d thought of a proposal that he’d like to run by us and see what we thought about it.

So, he told us his proposal and what he suggested was that he keep the deposit and a couple hundred extra so I would possibly lose out on about $300, be refunded the rest and be let out of the contract.  While this wasn’t ideal or what we hoped for, it was better than nothing considering everything so I was pretty happy about that proposal.  He also said that if he gets someone in there soon, he’ll also refund me the $300 dollars too so it’s possible I could end up with all my money back instead of most my money, but all things considered, I felt lucky and blessed to get out of the contract with that kind of proposal from him.

Anyway, we talked to him some more, made sure everything was worked out and then got off the phone.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a lot of pressure lifted off me as I did when I hung up that phone earlier knowing I wouldn’t have to be in that unwanted situation and that I’ll get most and possibly all my money refunded as well :).

Also, we called the manager from the other apartments that I loved so much and wanted to live in that we saw yesterday.  I talked to him and asked him if I could go up tomorrow and work things out with him, pay the deposit and get everything processed and secure so I could move in once an apartment was available because we thought that the other one he’d shown us had be rented.  Well, at least, it was suppose to have been rented last night.

After talking with the manager of the apartments that I love, they’re called Twin Creek apts., I found out that the place he’d shown us yesterday that I’d really liked was still available 😀 YAY!!!  So, I asked him if I were to come up tomorrow to put the deposit down, fill out the application and everything, would I be able to have that one bedroom apartment, that he’d shown us.

He asked when we’d be up there tomorrow and we told him we’d plan on getting up there by 11 am at the latest tomorrow morning and he said that would work fine for him :).  Then he told me that he’d be fine to hold the apartment for me for a day until I could get up there tomorrow :D.

So, I’m getting refunded most of my money from the other housing I was going to be in with the roommate and possibly may end up having all my money refunded in a while here from them too.  I got out of the housing contract that had the roommate and I found a great place to move into that fits what I wanted with the place to myself :).

The Twin Creek apartments are also really close to campus.  It’s only like 5-10 minutes from campus and it’s in a community apartment setting with lots of other students living there so I’ll still get the feel of campus social life and be able to be around lots of other students in that living arrangement that I can be friends with, but that I don’t have to share a place with – YAY :D!!!  It’s like the best of both worlds for me from my perspective anyway – being able to have a place to myself and being able to socialize and be around lots of other students and people my age too :).

I do have to do some added things here and there with living in Twin Creeks that I wouldn’t have had to do living on campus, but it’s worth it to me :).  I’m feeling a lot less pressure and stress and a whole lot better about moving and going to school up there now that this has been pretty much all resolved :D.

What a week…

and it’s not even over yet or even halfway over – ack :p.  Ever feel like you want to go to bed and hibernate for a while…that’s how I’ve been feeling lately.  Let’s just say, it’s been a rough, stressful past few days for me.  Who knew so much could happen and change in so little time.

Okay, so starting with Monday, which was yesterday, was it really just yesterday?  It seems like it’s been longer since it was Monday.  Anyway, I got up Monday and got ready to go up to the college with my Dad to see if we could talk to the dumb housing people.  We got to the college in the afternoon and then tried to find the person we needed to talk to and went to a couple offices before we found the right one.

Then when we found the right one, we tried to talk to them about it and they told me I’d have to do an “appeal process” and that the fastest they’d get it taken care of was a week from now – ack :p.  We tried to talk to this girl to see if there was someone we could talk to or some way we could speed the process up and she said we had to fill out this appeal paperwork crap and then we could call the lady who would get the paperwork and see if we could speed things up with her.  So, we were like okay, fine cause I was like well, maybe if we submit this paper and can talk to this lady we’ll be able to figure something out sooner.  At least I was hoping that talking to the lady would be more helpful than our conversation with this dumb girl was, ya know.

So, she gave us the appeal paper and a clipboard and we sat down to fill it out.  Then there we were, my Dad and I, discussing and filling out this appeal paper, when this man walks by us. 

This man stops by us and says, “oh, looks like you’re in the appeal process”  and we said, “yeah, we are” and then he said, “well, is there anything I could maybe help you with here?”  Then my Dad took over and told him ya know it would be great if you could help us because here’s what has happened and summed it up for this guy.  Then this man asked us a couple questions and then asked us to go back to a conference room with him so we could discuss the situation in private a little more, if we’d like too.

So, we went to this conference room and discussed the situation and options with this guy.  Then after we talked about it for a while, he told us he’d do some more checking on a few things we’d discussed while we did some checking on things from our end and then get back to us.  He told us he’d do what he could so we could try to work something out and have something figured out so I can move in by the weekend at the latest considering the time frame we’re working with here and all.  He asked us for the appeal paperwork we’d been doing and I told him I wasn’t done and needed to turn it back in to this other person when he told us that since he knew us and the situation, he’d be personally handling our appeal and situation himself.  So, we thanked him and talked a bit more and then as we were leaving, we shook hands and mentioned our names.

Well, that’s when we were like WOW because he introduced himself as THE BOSS as in he is THE director of the housing there that we were dealing with in trying to resolve this situation.  He is the one who gives all the final word on every decision and every situation with housing there.  So, we were feeling very lucky and blessed that he stopped and talked to us and that he would be the one working with us on seeing what we can do to fix this situation.

I mean, seriously, what are the odds, that I would be up there with my Dad filling out paperwork to try to figure this situation out and that out of all the people there, The Director, himself, would happen to walk by and stop to talk to us about our situation.  Plus he’s already called and talked to us this morning (Tuesday morning) about some checking into things he’s done so we know he’s serious about doing what he can to help us out here.

So, after we finished talking with the director, we left and went to go look at some apartments we had listings for to see what kind of places there are to choose from, if I don’t stay in the housing.  We only checked a few places, but one place looked alright from the outside, but the apartment office was closed so we couldn’t check the inside.  Then we drove by two other places and one was freakin scary looking and the other had a bunch of kind of scary, weird looking people hanging around it and it was kind of too far from campus.  Then the other one we were going to check we didn’t because we decided it was even too much farther from campus than the other place we’d seen.

Oh and then when we drove by that last place, I was turning my car around and thought I was going to drive on this little cement bridge into a driveway over a bridge so I’d be fine, but something happened and I hit the curb/gutter area instead and got a flat tire – what fun, I know :p.  So, then my Dad got out and helped guide me back on to the road and pull to the side so he could take the flat tire off, put the spare on and we could go find a tire place. 

After my Dad got the flat tire off and the spare tire on, we drove a little ways and luckily found a tire place that was open because it was almost 7 pm by this time.  Then we had them look at the flat tire and ended up getting two new tires because we found out that the two front tires were almost completely worn and needed to be replaced.  My tires wouldn’t have lasted through the winter if I hadn’t ended up with the flat tire and having to replace it.

While they were taking care of my car and putting the new tires on and so forth, we walked around that area and went to eat dinner at a nearby place.  We talked some more about things while we ate and then headed back to pick up my car about a half and hour later and when we came back to pick it up, they were just finishing it up so we timed our return just great.  We also ended up getting a pretty good deal on the tires and all so that made us happy.

After we left the tire place, we checked some things on the car to make sure everything was back in place and all done.  I got re-situated with readjusting my seat and stuff too and then we were going to see if we could check out some other places before we headed back home, but by that time it was around 8:30 pm so we decided we’d better head home.

We started out to head back home and my Dad asked if I wanted to stop and get a treat or something like that to eat on the way home or what not so we did.  We stopped before we left town and talked some more while I had a rootbeer float and he had a hot caramel sundae.  Then after we finished our desserts, we got in the car and headed back home.

So, we didn’t end up heading back home until about 9 pm Monday night and then we talked a lot on the way home and joked around and talked about all the good that had come out of our day.  It was a pretty good day despite the flat tire mess and all that we ended up dealing with up there. 

We ended up getting back home at about 11 pm Monday night and then relayed the story of our day to my mom before we went to bed.  Did I mention yet how I was extremely glad that I took my Dad with me when I went up there on Monday.  I don’t know what would have happened without him there to help me out with everything that happened.  We planned on getting up today (Tuesday) and leaving earlier then we had on Monday to take care of things and look at some more apartments back up there again.

Well, then some more fun happened :p.  I went and ate a snack and relaxed before I went to head to bed last night and I was feeling fine.  I was planning about getting to bed so I could get up and we could get more stuff done on Tuesday.

When I went to bed later on, I was sitting in bed for a minute thinking before I was going to lay down and go to sleep when BAM it hit me.  My stomach started to feel icky and I knew something wasn’t right or good with me.  Then I went into the bathroom and ended up being in there going from feeling not too good to feeling like I was going to die in about 1 1/2 to 2 hours in the middle of the night, when I wanted to be sleeping, of course.

After being in the bathroom being sick for so long, I thought I was okay to go to bed so I came out and went back into bed.  I sat in bed for a minute to see if I was really okay to go to bed or not when BAM another wave of being sick hit and then I was in the bathroom again.  So, I ended up spending most of the night last night in the bathroom being sick and feeling like I was going to die.  It was bad and I had some majorly painful stomach cramps.  I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and I still haven’t, I guess it was just one of those things, those “lovely” things you “love” to have or as I like to call them “necessary evils” :p.

Then I finally went into bed to try to sleep and hope to feel better later around 6 am Tuesday morning.  Well, this directory guy called to talk to me at 8:30 in the morning, so I didn’t sleep much before I was woken up again because this guy called.  So, I talked to him for a minute and he told me he’d checked a few things and hadn’t had any of them pan out yet and that he thought I would really like my roommate because his staff member he’d talked to about the situation had said she was such a great person so that means I should love her and we should be bosom friends :p – blah.  I mean sure she may just be a nice person and all, but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna be great lifelong friends and la de da.  I was irritated by him if you couldn’t tell because he woke me up at 8:30 am and I wasn’t feeling well and then he was trying to talk me into meeting my roommate like meeting her will magically make it all better how they screwed me over and all. 

I told him I still wasn’t sure I wanted to meet this roommate just yet and I still wanted him to check some of these other options.  I also told him I was still checking some things out on my end too and I thanked him too, but said I still would prefer not to have a roommate so I’d appreciate it if you could check these other options out you mentioned.  So, he said, he’d do some more checking, while I did some checking and then we could talk and maybe get together to figure things out in the next 2 or 3 days here.  I said yeah and he said just keep thinking about maybe meeting this roommate and seeing what you think though and I was like fine, thank you, talk to you later bye.  Then I got off the phone and talked with my parents about it for a few minutes and told them how I wasn’t feeling good and how my night had been.

So, my parents left me to try to sleep a little more and see if I could feel better.  Well about a half and hour after the phone call, I was up and in the bathroom again.  This time was a lot worse and I ended up being in the bathroom for like two hours or so this morning being way sick and feeling a lot more like I was going to die then I had the night before when I’d been sick in the bathroom.  I haven’t felt that sick and that much like I was going to die in a long time. 

After I came out of the bathroom, I collapsed back in bed and passed out for a few hours before my Dad woke me up to see how I was doing or if I needed anything.  Then I passed out again until my mom came and talked to me and it went like that most of the day – me being passed out asleep unless my mom or dad was checking on me or I was trying to eat some crackers and drink some Sprite to help me feel better.

I didn’t end up coming out of my room and really getting up moving around until around 8:30 or 9 pm tonight (Tuesday night).  So, I’ve only been up, moving around and eating a little here and there feeling a little bit better for a while now. 

I was completely out of it for most of the day today though and felt like I was going to die.  Anyway, now I need to hurry cause I need to try to eat a little more and then go back to bed again.  I have to try to get up early tomorrow to go back up and check out some more apartments and things with my Dad again since we didn’t get up there today.

So, that’s been my week so far…I hope everyone else has been having as much ‘fun’ as I have :p.  I hope this week isn’t going to keep being so much ‘fun’.  I don’t know if I can handle this much ‘fun’ and all the rest of this week – ack :p.

I’m so annoyed!!!

I thought I had everything worked out and figured out for moving next week, but I guess I don’t.

I’m not sure if I do or not at this moment anyway.  I just was checking things on my college’s website earlier today in the afternoon to see when I could go check in and see my apartment so I could decide what to take and move up there with me. 

Well, lo and behold, while I’m checking the website, guess what I find, ooo, made me so upset, they’ve assigned me a freakin roommate!!!  Now, I know, some of you probably think that’s no big deal, but it is to me.

The thing is that they told me and led me to believe I had a one bedroom apartment that I was going to be living in by myself all this time.  I asked them if I had roommates or not in one e-mail and they told me I shouldn’t have roommates and we exchanged some other e-mails and info between myself and the stupid housing office that seemed pretty straight forward to me in saying that I’d be in a one bedroom apartment by myself.

Now, all of a sudden, they’ve assigned me a roommate.  Of course, it’s not anyone I know considering I don’t know a lot of people where I’m going to school yet anyway, but ooo I’m so upset. 

Oh and I was really ticked off earlier when I first discovered this crap so I e-mailed the stupid housing office about it to try to figure out what was going on.  Now, get this, this upset me even more, they sent me a reply to my e-mail asking what the heck was going on because they’d told me and led me to believe I was going to be by myself in a one bedroom apartment and their reply was I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but we don’t rent out any apartments without having at least two people in them. 

Then they said and really we don’t even rent out any single/studio apartments at all so I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.  But it was like the tone of their reply in the e-mail and all that it was like I felt like/got the impression they were really saying, well, I’m sorry, but I don’t even know where you’d get that idea from anyway.  Um, hello, stupid housing people, you gave me that idea!!! 

My parents and family that read and heard what I’d said and had been told in reply even thought and were led to believe I’d be in a one bedroom apartment by myself – stupid, idiotic housing people – so freakin annoying!!!

So, where does that leave me?  Well, besides majorly ticked and irritated at the stupid housing people for misleading and misrepresenting things to me, it leaves me with a few options, but not necessarily the options I would like to have.

Okay so all the options aren’t that bad and something could work and not be a total disaster.  Although I am very much against staying in my present situation rooming with a stranger and such, not necessarily because I’m against having a roommate, but rather because I don’t really want to be involved in any more dealings with these stupid housing people now.  I want out and away from these dumb housing people so I’m having to see if I can find something else and what I can do on top of everything else at the last minute this week now.  Oh, what fun for me.

I have found out what I would have to do to cancel my contract and leave my present planned living arrangements.  I am waiting for some more answers to questions from the dumb housing office also though.  I also have found a few options so far of other more appealing, seemingly better places/situations I’d rather live in though.

I’ve found a few other apartments I could live in off campus, but I’d have to share, but I’d have my own bedroom and bathroom and access to laundry in the apartment.  I won’t have my own bathroom or access to laundry in the apartment in the housing I’m suppose to be in unless I change. 

I’ve also found a few possible apartment communities to call and check with that might have some studio/one bedroom apartments available that would be my ideal choice if I could switch to that, but we’ll have to see.  I’m also planning to see if I can check on some things or find anything else out tomorrow after church.

I’ll be contacting the stupid housing people again on Monday by e-mail, phone and possibly in person also.  I plan to go to the college to talk to them in person, see what I can figure out and go around the town to see if I can find other available apartments that I haven’t found online.  I’ll probably also pick up a local newspaper and such while I’m there and see what more I can find.

I’m going to do whatever I can to figure some other living arrangements out that would work better for me than what the stupid housing people have assigned.  I have a week, not much time, but it’s something and there should be something that I can find.  I should be able to figure or work something out this week so it’ll all work out in the end by the time school starts next week, but I don’t enjoy the added major stress I have now with dealing with this added task along with all the other things I have to do too.

Stupid, freakin, annoying housing people is all I have to say right now – argh!!!

Ever wonder…

Ever wonder if you knew the person you were going to marry when you were little, but you still don’t know that yet.

I mean I’m a romantic, hopeless or true or just a romantic so I sometimes sit awake at night when I can’t sleep, but probably should be sleeping lol, and wonder about things like this at times.  I sometimes wonder if I already know the person I’ll end up marrying even though I don’t know him yet or at least I don’t think I know him, but maybe I do or I did when I was growing up…perhaps.

I just wonder sometimes what if the guy I end up marrying this time ends up being someone I knew from when I was younger, ya know.  It’s an interesting thought I run through my head at times.

Well and then when I read some of these books that I do or watch Anne of Green Gables, I think to myself, I wonder what it would be like if I could go back and do my childhood over and see if I could find a Gilbert Blythe to be friends with when I was young that would always be there for me growing up and then we could end up together *romantic sigh* lol.  Yeah, okay, so I don’t want, wish, hope or dream of much, I know lol :p.

I think I’ve been having the theme of romance and childhood friends growing up to be together too much around me lately lol.  I watched Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea last week and sighed over Gilbert Blythe as usual lol.  I also watched Little Women just recently too :p. 

Then I read a book that had some teenagers that were friends and then decided to be bf/gf and la de da.  Then I just finished reading this book tonight that a close friend gave me for my birthday about a girl and finding her place in life and then her and the boy she’d been friends with since childhood getting together to be bf/gf and probably to end up marrying each other in a couple years when they were older – so cute and everything :).

Okay now I’m looking at all the cutesy, romantic, girlie movies and books I’ve been watching and reading and what I just wrote and it makes me want to gag.  Lol, I’m such a girl.  I guess I’ve been in some weird mood lately or something – I was going to watch Batman Begins tonight though, but didn’t get around to it.  Oh, well, that’s the way it goes sometimes.

As if all my movies, books and things weren’t girlie and romantic enough for all of you, there’s more lol :p.  I went out with my mom and saw these gardens at this place near my house earlier tonight, well, it was Thursday night and they were gorgeous gardens.  I wish I had remembered to take my camera with me so I could have put pictures up on here of these gardens.

It was 55 acres of gardens and they had huge man-made waterfalls that were awesome.  They had a river/stream and a lake and wow it was huge and gorgeous and it was so nice when we went because it was at night when the sun was going down and it was much cooler. 

There was this gentle, light, late summer breeze through all the gardens.  It was so peaceful and calm and we were one of the few people wandering through the gardens besides the birds and the animals. 

There were tons of hummingbirds twittering, some doves and pigeons cooing, some different types of finches chattering all over in the trees and the bushes, dragonflies and we even saw a couple little bunny rabbits.  They were soo cute and wiggled their little noses at us as they watched us walk by.  They looked so cute and cuddly, I wanted to pick them up, but of course I didn’t and wasn’t even going to try, but they were just soo cute.

They had all these little gardens done to themes in the big gardens where you walk through and look at everything.  It was soo cool.  They had a garden that was like the Secret Garden for those of you who know about that famous book and movie and it was the coolest little Secret Garden.  While my mom and I walked through the Secret Garden and then the Butterfly Garden then Shakespeare’s Garden and by Monet’s Lake with lots of Water Lilies on the lake and walked through the rose garden, Italian Garden, and all these other gardens within this huge place, we talked about which of the places in which gardens would be the ideal, romantic place to have a marriage proposal. 

I know a few favorite places in those gardens I’d love for a guy to propose to me in, but there’s one place I’d prefer the most.  Although you could go almost anywhere in these gardens and have it be freakin romantic.  Heck, you could just go on a date with someone to these gardens on a cool summer night and stroll through them holding hands and have it be dang romantic 😉 :).

So, my one place I think I’d prefer the most for a marriage proposal in these gorgeous gardens is in the Secret Garden :).  I love that Secret Garden replica they did in these gardens.  It’s so perfect, beautiful, peaceful, quiet and secluded so it really feels like a Secret Garden in there. 

There’s a couple places in this Secret Garden that would be perfect and so romantic for a marriage proposal.  They have a couple little benches around in secluded little spots within this Secret Garden with beautiful roses and flowers all around.  They have this cute, adorable little fountain in the middle of the Secret Garden too that lights up at night and ooo, that’d be romantic too to be proposed to in front of the lit up fountain in the middle of this Secret Garden.

Then there’s other various spots on other secluded benches throughout the gardens that would be romantic, perfect spots too.  Oh and then there’s in front of the rose garden with the lake and the sunset in the background for another spot.  Then there’s right in front of the lake by the water lilies and on this pier they have there that you can go stand on and look out on the lake – so the spot no the pier in front of the lake – another good one.  One other specific good spot I can think of was on this bridge crossing the river as you’re leaving the lake area and there’s these flowers growing on this trellis like creation over the bridge and it’s just another gorgeous, romantic spot :D.  So, see these gardens are plum full of romance and gorgeous scenery and there’s too many places you could choose from for a perfect spot for a marriage proposal in these gardens.

I wish I could go back to just sit and read a book in these gardens.  It was just so peaceful and I felt separate from the world in these little safe, secluded, peaceful, serene gardens with nothing but nature and myself.  It soothed me and my anxiety over everything I’m going to have to do next week and this weekend with this moving out and starting school again and all.

I don’t get that soothed, calm, peaceful, separate from the world and the craziness and that serene feeling from many places.  I usually only get that feeling from the library, the cemetery, and the temple (LDS temples).  Now I have a new place of peace and serenity to add to my list here, these gorgeous gardens :).

Do I have to share my past…again? Eeek.

Okay so considering my recent post to say that I’m more okay with the idea of dating and hanging out with people, more specifically guys again, I’ve had some other thoughts come to mind here.

I think I’m more just writing these thoughts to write them and get them out of my head than anything.  Of course, if anyone has feedback that might be helpful than go ahead and comment, if you’d like.

So, what thoughts have come to mind because of my step toward being more okay with dating etc. again have to do with dating etc., of course.  Anyway, it’s like this, I’ve dated and hung out with some guys in the past that have known some of my past and I’ve had all kinds of reactions.

I’ve just been thinking or maybe wondering what it’s going to be like dating and hanging out now, this time around.  What is it going to be like this time around when I tell these people/guys about my past?

I mean I’m kind of nervous and hesitant to share some of these things and my past with people.  I don’t know what some of them are going to think, do or how they’re going to react so it makes me kind of nervous, ya know.

I mean, okay, first hurdle when I’m getting to know someone is telling them about my divorce and bad/abusive marriage.  For the most part, when I tell people that I’m divorced and been in a bad/abusive marriage, they’re okay with it.  I mean most of the time, people are mostly accepting of the divorce/bad marriage part of my past.  That hurdle isn’t usually that big of a problem or anything with people, it’s the other hurdles that cause the various reactions from nasty to nice and sometimes cause problems too.

After the first hurdle of divorce/bad marriage, then there’s the other hurdles of adoption, that I placed not one, but two daughters for adoption, that I’m still in contact and part of their lives and their families/adoptive families lives in a way and so forth.  When I tell people I have two children I placed for adoption, they’re not always as accepting as they are of the fact that I’m divorced and had a bad/abusive marriage.  When they find how much I’m part of my girls lives and their families lives even though it’s only through letters, pictures, home movies and packages, some people become even less accepting.

I have had all kinds of reactions to when they find out I’m a firstmother/birthmother and have placed two daughters.  I’ve had it from nasty to nice from people online and in real life.  I don’t know what I’m going to come across with the people I meet when I’m at school away from home.  I’m feeling kind of nervous about meeting new people, hanging out, dating and eventually telling some of these people about my past.  I’m feeling nervous about their reactions and what I’m going to come across.

I don’t know, I just wish it was easier somehow to tell people these things about myself and my past.  I mean, okay, if any of you were hanging out with someone, getting to know them and they told you they had two daughters they placed for adoption, what would you do?  How would you react?

I don’t know.  I think I’m thinking too much, which is something I do a lot of – thinking too much lol.  I’m just nervous about that part of sharing my past and myself with new people especially new guys again after I’ve known them for a while – eeek :p.

Happy Dance

Yeah, I know I do the “Happy Dance” a lot lately, it seems :D.

I can’t help it though.  I just got a short little note in my e-mail from my 20 mo old’s mom telling me a little about how things are going and letting me know she’s working on a letter and pics to send to me later this week or next week :D.  I love hearing from my girls families and it gave me warm fuzzies cause she was telling me how much she loves me, which she often does, but it still always is nice to hear how much she likes, loves and appreciates me as my/her 20 mo old’s mom/other mom :).

So, I’m happy cause I got to hear a little from her with the short little e-mail and I know I’m going to hear more and get pics in a little while – YAY me :).