Man, I do not like trials in life, but then again who does, right. I’m seriously feeling like lately, I’d like to ask if I could just please get to the point where I can “live happily ever after” now or at least start to do that.
I don’t know…I’ve just been soo freakin frustrated and everything lately with the boy, myself, the job hunt…life, ya know. I know I’m going through a trial right now and it isn’t a big trial like others have gone through or what not, but it’s a trial for me nonetheless right now.
I’m having my patience and my faith and things majorly tested and tried lately with things. I just want this trying of my faith, patience etc. to be over now…well until the next one comes, but man I just want a break sometimes, ya know. Well and really no matter what kinds of breaks or vacations I take or go on…I’m not completely going to get the break I need from dealing with some of things in life until I’m dead…when you really think about it, but I can’t die yet.
I still have to get married, have children that I parent and other things so I have to keep dealing with these tests and these trials in life that come. I’m just having one of those times in life, you know the ones.
I just want to see the end of this section of my life and know the outcome already of this test and not have to go through it. Yes, I know…if I didn’t go through it, I wouldn’t grow and learn and become who I’m suppose to be and so forth, but sometimes I’d just like to not deal with it all and be able to escape somewhere, if ya know what I mean.
Anyway, I’m still doing my best to hang in there and not completely go nuts and lose my mind, but there are days when I wonder. I’m hoping to start one of these jobs this week that I’m suppose to interview with hopefully tomorrow or Wednesday and then figure out an apartment to move to in a little bit after I start a job.
I’ve also gotten in touch with my former counselor again…just Monday, as a matter of fact, and told him a little bit of how I’m having a hard time with some things and think some old issues may be resurfacing. I also told him how I’m in a relationship with this guy and there’s some things that I think may need to be talked about in regards to my relationship and may need some work on like communication skills and such. So, yeah…it looks like I’ll be re-entering counseling again.
Anyway, that’s a little bit of what’s going on with me over here with my little test/trial I’m experiencing at present.