Guess What?! Cool News Alert!

I just got an e-mail from my 3 1/2 yr old’s mom in response to the last e-mail I sent a week ago and she updated me on my 3 1/2 yr old etc. plus she said a few things that got me a little excited and hopeful for the future and a little more openness with us in the future.

She told me in the e-mail that she was going to come to my wedding reception but had a conflict with other plans but wanted me to know she was seriously planning to come because she thinks I might enjoy visiting with her once in a while – EEKK!!! I mean, I know it’s not her saying I’ll come with the family including my b-daughter with her to visit, but it’s progress.

We had discussed having visits/phone calls when/if we felt comfortable with it just between us as in the adults – between my 3 1/2 yr old’s parents and myself and now my hubby and now it’s sounding like that’s something that maybe happening sooner than I thought which will help our relationship more and then help with the basis for when my 3 1/2 yr old is older and wants to see me or what not.

She also told me in the e-mail that she wants me to let her know when I’m back in Utah/the area because she wants to see me and meet my hubby. I’ve just been staring at the e-mail reading it over and over for the last little while and pinched myself cause I wasn’t sure I was reading that for real that she’s talking about and wanting to do another step of openness with visiting with me and meeting my hubby and talking about how she thinks it would be fun for us to see each other and visit once in a while.

I don’t know…I’m just like EEEEKKK!!! I’m just a little excited about it and the possibilities this will start to open up with our relationship in the future, ya know and for the possibilities that this will open up for me in the future with my 3 1/2 yr old too.

Things are definitely progressing in the right direction for openness with both my girl’s families, but I’m a little ahead with the openness level with my 3 1/2 yr old’s family than my 5 yr old’s family, but I have a feeling that will change in a while too.

I just had to share, because it may not be me saying I’m going to see one of my girls, but it is me saying when we’re back in the area/get a chance I will be seeing my 3 1/2 yr old’s parents – at least for sure will be seeing her mom and I’m excited about that prospect because she and I are close and we have both wanted to be more open and visit with at least each other but have been holding off until we were both in a place with life etc. where we felt it could work.

Anyway, something kind of exciting I had to share with you all :D.


Could This Dream Mean Something?

I had a dream last night that was interesting…but I don’t know if it means anything or not…it was just weird…

Anyway, I dreamed that I went to an agency or somewhere like that and found a bunch of info about my birth nephew in a cupboard or something.  Then I was talking to my sister in the dream and she opened up a package or something of some sort that was suppose to have info on my birth nephew and there was his name and then also where he lived and a phone number.

My sister told me in my dream that there she opened the package and there was some info for me if I wanted to find out about my birth nephew, but I don’t know the dream was disjointed and weird like a lot of my dreams often are…so I don’t know if it meant anything or not.

It was just weird to have this dream pop up because I haven’t talked much about my birth nephew lately…for a while in the past I used to try to think what to do to see if I could find my birth nephew or what to do since my sister doesn’t really want to find him…I mean she seems to be okay with the idea of him finding her, but doesn’t want to seek him out or anything.  I’ve tried putting info up or thought of what to do to make it easy for him to find us, if he wanted, but I don’t know…it’s just weird that this dream popped up last night.

I haven’t had info out there actively or anything for him to find for a while because I was on a website and one of my psycho exes found me so I took myself and info off that website and haven’t thought about or done anything else in a while.

Oh but the dream got stranger because I remember a name from it like Brian or something and wouldn’t it be weird if that was actually my birth nephew’s first name or something and I remember something about Arizona or something…which would be weirder if he and/or his adoptive family really did live in AZ.

Then in the dream, my cell phone, I think it was, anyway a phone rang and it was a lady asking if we’d found the info on my birth nephew and checking to make sure we had the right phone number to call so we could talk to him and/or his adoptive family, then we talked for a minute on the phone in my dream and then hung up.

I remember having an interesting conversation with my sister in my dream about whether to call/find/reunite with my birth nephew and her birth son or not because I was nervous about it because I was nervous about what it’s going to be like when I meet and talk with my girls again when they’re older too…I don’t know…like I said the dream was interesting to say the least, but it’s stuck with me today and made me wonder if there’s some meaning to it…I don’t know…what do you think?

Anyway, just some rambling, wandering thoughts to think about for myself…