Wahoo! We’re True Aggies!!!


The Infamous A

Originally uploaded by SimplyAnne.

My boy and I became True Aggies just the other night, Friday night at midnight.  We went, stood around and waited in line with tons of other people until midnight when they explained the ‘True Aggie’ tradition of kissing on ‘The A’ and so forth and then proceeded to direct couples to go stand on The A to kiss and become true aggies.

He and I were one of the first few couples in line and we went up, stood on top of the A and kissed…so we’re True Aggies now – Wahoo!!!  We each got a card stating that we are True Aggies that we filled out that say we stood on the A on this day, Friday, and were kissed at midnight by our significant other etc. and are now known as True Aggies with all the privileges and rights that go with that title etc. and so forth.

Everyone had their pictures taken and the pictures are to go up on the wall of a new True Aggie cafe they’re opening so we can go have a sandwich at the cafe and see our picture of us becoming True Aggies, if we want.  We don’t get to have a copy of the picture though because it was taken to put up in the cafe and not for us, but we did get to have the experience, get the card saying we’re True Aggies and watch others do it.

It was a lot of fun and crazy to see all the people there to become True Aggies.  We felt happy about it afterwards because we were like well now the past year has been worth it since we became True Aggies lol…not to mention that I got the boy…he says he got me…so we got each other and we’re getting married later on this year and some other things that didn’t make the past year up here a total waste, but our becoming True Aggies just added to it not being a waste 😉 lol.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to the past few days, hanging out with the boy, job hunting (still) – but I have been getting some calls now and trying to see if I can set up some interviews for this next week so hopefully one of them will work out plus I have a few other places to apply at that sound like they could be good jobs too.  Also, of course, we went to play miniature golf, saw a movie called “premonition”, which was interesting, if you want to know more about that movie then just ask away.

And of course, as mentioned above, we were up to becoming True Aggies just the other night as well and he’s leaving for his summer job in Cali in about two weeks now, which sucks, but life goes on and we’ll survive until August somehow right and then we’ll be able to get married later on after he gets back.  Man what a fun and interesting summer this may turn out to be – I’m not being sarcastic or anything there ha ha.

Okay well that’s my little check in for now…I have other things to write, say and talk about, but I’ll have to write more later on.

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True Love

I can honestly say I’ve found my true love and I have so much faith in us and in him, it amazes me some days.  I don’t know how to explain it really, but I just can’t believe it…I’m…we’re still falling even more in love with each other and it really is the true, lasting, forever kind of love…I just feel it and know the more we go and fall in love, ya know.

I really don’t know how to say what I’m feeling or what I want to express here…it’s just…Wow.  I never thought I’d find this guy or this love and yet here it is, here he is and here I am now…amazing how it all happens.

What so many of the other guys wanted in my past that I never wanted or felt I could give them…my whole heart, soul and everything…all of me – I want to give to him and he’s never asked or tried to demand it of me like the others did.

I want to do so many things for him to show him how much I really do truly love him and how much he means to me and I am just amazed by how overwhelmed I am by this feeling of true, deep and everlasting love I have and that keeps growing even when we have our disagreements.  I don’t know how to describe it words, but it’s really amazing to me.

All sorts of songs and sayings are running through my head and none of them seem to be adequate enough to describe how much, how true and how deeply I love him and know he loves me too and he’s like my best friend too, which makes it that much more of a true love for me, ya know.

Bring Baby Evelyn Home!!!

I just signed the petition, have you signed it yet? Click on the link below and sign the petition if you haven’t already.http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/828030483

If you don’t know the story behind this then click on some blogs on my links list and get filled in…

 

You can check on Kim’s blog here, http://reunionwritings.wordpress.com or on Claud’s blog here, http://musingsofthelame.blogspot.com or on Nicole’s blog here, http://paragraphein.wordpress.com and read up on the story.

 

Please make sure to check the story out and sign the petition so we can help bring Baby Evelyn home to her family.  We still need about 600 signatures so make sure to sign and/or post the petition link on your blog and help out please!

Thanks.

More on Forgiveness

Yep, the process and work on forgiving myself and forgiveness in general is still going on with me at present.  It’s hard work like grief work going through these things to help myself to heal and forgive.

Anyway, the thought that I wanted to write here that is tied in with forgiveness and forgiving myself right now was inspired by watching the movie, “Pay It Forward” the other night with my boyfriend.  If you haven’t seen “Pay It Forward”, I would recommend it.  It’s  a really good movie with a really good message or I should say a few really good messages in it.

This was my second time watching the movie, but there was a part in it that struck me different this time…I suppose because of where I am and what I’m working on personally with forgiveness and healing.  Anyway, there’s a part in this movie where a daughter goes to her mother and for one of her good deeds with the Pay It Forward idea she talks to her mother, who’s a homeless bum, and tells her mother she forgives her for what her mother put her through when she was growing up and watching that exchange of forgiveness between this daughter and her mother, it woke something in me.

Watching this daughter forgive her mother and seeing the mother crying her healing tears and both of them healing and having weights lifted off their shoulders, I felt something wake in me – a desire of my own that’s been there, but is now stronger than before that I want that.  I want that forgiveness I saw shown there in that part of this movie.  I want to be able to cry those healing tears and feel that healing and have this weight lifted off my shoulder even more than I wanted it before now.

What makes it a little different than the movie is that I don’t want to be forgiven by someone or to forgive another person, I want to be able to look myself in the eye and tell myself, “I forgive you” and feel that healing and the weight lifted because I looked myself in the eye and said “I forgive you” and really meant it and let it go.  That’s what I want and what I’m trying to figure out and get to even more now than I was trying to do before now.  I haven’t quite got there yet, but I want it so bad now and I will get it…I deserve to give that to myself…I have earned the chance to forgive myself, I need to and I will one day…hopefully sooner rather than later…it’s a work in progress…but I’m hoping I’ll be able to look myself in the eye and say “I forgive you” to myself relatively soon.

After all that I’ve been through and then added on by putting myself through, I deserve a break and a clean slate and that’s what I’m working toward with forgiving myself and allowing myself to heal.

I’ll Be a Good Wife and Mother!

There’s times when someone says something special and compliments you that sticks with you and then helps you to see that what they say is actually true and not just something said to make you feel good.

The boy said this to me the other day and he’s said a few times, but every time he says it, I feel more truth and confidence about the saying being true, ya know.

I just was thinking about this the other day and he is right, ya know…I will be a dang good wife and mother because of what I’ve been through and because of who I am.  I’ll be that much better at being a wife because of what I learned from going through my first bad marriage as well as what I know and have learned growing up and in life.  I’ll also be that much better of a mother because of the fact that I had and placed my first two girls and because of what I’ve learned about being a mother from going through that and keeping in contact with both my girls families.  As well as the fact that I’ll be a good mother simply because of what I know and have learned growing up and in life as well.

Of course, I’ll still make mistakes and keep learning how to be a better/good wife and mother, but he’s right, I already will be a pretty dang good wife and mother from where I am, who I am and what I know right now too.  It’s nice to start feeling more confidence and truth in that about myself and to hear that from others too, ya know :).  It helps with the much needed healing I’m working on for myself.

Happiness – Part 3

Here’s the poem I mentioned in the previous post that I said I was going to find and put up here.

Butterfly of My Soul 

As I drove home the other day,

I saw a butterfly.

A symbol of happiness, hope and love,

So beautiful and so very unique.

 

As I watched it flutter by me,

I thought of all the butterfly poems.

I wondered why so many people

Could connect to butterflies.

 

Then I thought of my two daughters,

I’ve placed for adoption.

I wondered, are they seeing

The same butterfly or will they?

 

So, I blew a kiss to the butterfly,

In hopes that the butterfly would fly

By my daughters,

Land gently on their noses,

And pass on my loving kiss.

 

Hoping they would feel of my love

Through the butterfly passing on my kiss.

Of course, how would I know

Or anyone if they’d really see

This same butterfly?

It’s the symbolism that makes it

So special to my heart.

 

But a lot of people think of butterflies,

Passing on their kisses and love

To their children they’ve placed.

My next thought was something new.

 

As I watched the butterfly,

Fluttering around the parking lot,

I thought to myself,

I am that butterfly.

 

I thought to myself,

Because of my two daughters,

I’ve been given wings

And feel as if I can fly.

 

 

 

 

I am now beautiful and unique.

And now I see and recognize that

Beauty and uniqueness in myself.

 

Because of this painful experience,

I have found myself.

I have found that I am priceless

And I can see my beauty now.

 

I can see me for who I am

And who I am now is

A person whose

Beauty, love and soul transcends

What it once was in every way.

 

Because of my daughters, I am me.

I am becoming who I’m meant to be.

I am like the butterfly now.

 

I am the one that has become

And can be a symbol of happiness,

Hope and love with the help of the Lord.

 

Because of this,

I know who I am,

What my purpose is,

What I’m doing,

What I want to do

And where I’m going.

 

Like the butterfly, with the help of God,

I can fly to the highest heights now

Because I’ve been to the lowest lows.

And when I say I love myself and

I know myself, I feel it deeply now.

 

When I say I am priceless,

And I’ve found my worth

And my place here on earth,

I feel its truthfulness vibrate

To the very core of my being.

 

So now I am the butterfly,

With all my beauty and flaws.

I am special and priceless and

I will live and love again

With my hand in the Lord’s.

 

Written by Anne

April 6, 2005

 Ironic, now that I notice, but I wrote this poem exactly two years ago and now I’m feeling like this poem again two years later.  It’s interesting, really how things do that sometimes.

Also with the symbolism of the butterfly, if you look at my myspace page, which you won’t be able to unless you’re one of my friends or have seen it before I opted to go for the private profile, you’d notice two graphics of butterflies on my myspace page.  There is a pink butterfly graphic that I have that represents A – 4 yrs old and a purple butterfly graphic that I have that represents K – 2 1/2 yrs old and most people don’t realize or know the connection and symbolism I have behind those two butterflies on my myspace page, but they’re there.

Happiness – Part 2

Here’s another thought that came to me earlier when I was thinking of this happiness post that I’ve been trying to form and it was that I remembered a poem I had written a couple years ago now that describes some of my happiness now.

Well, alright there’s a few verses/parts of the poem that come to mind – not the whole poem together so here’s the parts.

If I could give you,

just one thing,

If I could show you

how my heart sings…

 

If only you knew

how I wake each day,

to the beautiful,

brilliant suns rays

 

If only I could express

that love and

those feelings

that press upon my chest

 

That gives me hope,

that give me life,

and help me to

for another day

be able to cope

 

If only I could

show you all the

happiness and

all the love that

comes to me

from up above

 

Spoon it all out

through your lips

so it would

fill your waiting mouth

 

So you could feel it

spill out your mouth and

drip down your chin

causing you to grin

 

I have another poem that just came to mind that describes some of my happiness thoughts too, but I’ll have to find it and post it later on so stay tuned as the Happiness posts continue :).

Happiness

I’ve had another post forming in my thoughts lately about Happiness, but haven’t been sure how to write, form and put it all down together here to make sense, but to start with I thought I’d put the lyrics to this song, which describe some of what I’m feeling and thinking about with life and happiness lately.

I’m not sure who exactly sang this song originally, but this is one of the artists that came up with this song’s lyrics. If I can find the video to this song, I’ll post it on here, but if not, well you can read the lyrics or search out the song if you’ve never heard it and really want to hear it =).

Jimmy Cliff – I Can See Clearly Now

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

Look all around, there’s nothin’ but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin’ but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day