Completely and totally…again…all the way being and feeling myself again…don’t know how to describe it really…it’s more of a feeling and I’ve been so happy since feeling all the way like myself again and where I’m suppose to be in life, doing what I’m doing and back on track from all the hard times, dragging myself somedays and at rock bottom sometimes especially all the crap I went through in the past 11 years.
From coming home on cloud nine after serving an LDS mission to Uruguay and crashing to the bottom with marrying, being abused and then divorcing my first husband, which seems like another lifetime and such a faint memory now, to getting involved with more loser type guys and having and placing my two girls and going up and down on the rollercoaster of life and planning to marry one guy after being together for around a year and a half to ending up with the best guy for me that I’m with now…it’s been an amazing rollercoaster of life these past 11 years and most of them/ a lot of the time I’ve been down and fighting my way back to the top from all my hits and times spent at rock bottom.
I never thought I’d feel this way again…all the way myself again back in tune with the Lord, His Spirit and everything else…but after all the crap and heck of a long rollercoaster ride, I guess is one way to put the past 11 years…I feel like I did 11 years ago before I went through everything I did except that now all those things are incorporated into me and my life and I can and do still feel all the way happy and like myself again.
It’s so awesome and amazing to look at where I was, what I went through and to where I am now and see how the Lord has helped me and been with me through the whole thing.
Anyway, I don’t know how to explain it in words just right more than this right now…other than I’m just so freakin happy about this monumental progress and return to myself/completely being myself right now.
I’m going to see about finding a song or two that helps to describe and express more of what I’m feeling in regards to this post and all.