I read this entry, The Birthmom I Want to Be, from another awesome blogger and it struck a chord with me.
Everything in that post that was written by the blogger, A Life Being Lived over at Carrying a Cat by the Tail and quoted from the book, Lifegivers: Framing The Birthparent Experience In Open Adoption by: James L. Gritter is true and made a lot of sense to me to read.
I placed Sweet Pea and Bookworm, 6 and 7 1/2 years ago and pretty much everything that’s said/quoted in that entry is pretty much true of me and who I am today and how I am today. Somedays are better than others…but most of the time and for the most part I am that birthmom described in that entry. Some of those things are always a work in progress and such.
I just have to say, I read that entry and went Wow that’s pretty much me and how I am and look at life etc. now and it was just Wow to read someone write that so well. I definitely have to get and read that book now…yes I haven’t read it though I’ve been thinking about it for a while but haven’t done it yet.
I definitely want to read that book even more now and makes me think I need to work some more on getting myself more comfortable with the idea and all of going back to sharing my experiences at high schools or what not.
It was just something that goes with some more healing/another layer of grieving with adoption and some other things from my past as well that fit with where I am right now and that was good for me to read/hear. I read that and realized that even though I’m still not perfect (won’t be until after I’m dead most likely :p) and have wondered if I’m on the right track with life and things at times, that I am doing the right thing and the best I can for me. Reading that told me that I’m doing at least some of it right with doing my best to navigate life as a birthmom having placed two daughters.
It’s just good, once in a while, to have some positive reinforcements and validation from other sources outside of family and close friends that you are on the right track, if ya know what I mean.
Reading that entry, along with some other thoughts/emotions etc. I experienced recently, they were all the validation and reminders I needed that I know the Lord sent me to help me continue to grow and learn as He wants me to from this experience and in this life.