Feeling Betrayed…

I know…that’s a big surprise…what with everything I’ve found out recently about my 7 yr. old’s parents getting divorced and all.

But yes, I’m still processing…and feeling a range of things as I probably will on and off for quite a while and maybe for the rest of my life when things pop up. As in new things that have to do with and be dealt with in regards to my 7 yr. old now coming from a divorced home and what not as she grows up.

The main thing is my being sad about this whole thing besides dealing with being angry and upset…because I feel betrayed and hurt by my 7 yr. old’s adad to be a little more specific…

I mean he betrayed his wife, my 7 yr. old’s mom, and he betrayed and hurt himself even more whether or not he realizes that yet, but most of all he betrayed and hurt his daughter, which is also my daughter. And there is where a lot of my feelings of betrayal and hurt come from besides the fact…that although he hasn’t thought of it and maybe never will think or realize it…he betrayed and hurt me…the other mother…but he probably doesn’t even realize or think of that.

My 7 yr. old’s mom has thought of that and apologized to me and felt bad that she’s had to tell me about them getting a divorce and the whole situation cause she knows that it affects me too. Even though it’s not as direct or maybe not as major to me as it is to them and to my 7 yr. old, she knows and understands that it does affect me as well. She knows that this isn’t what I wanted/hoped for for my 7 yr. old and I know that she didn’t want this for my 7 yr. old either that’s why we’re both her mother because we both love her and would do anything and everything we could for her and we both want what’s best for her.

But my 7 yr. old’s dad lost sight of that when he made some wrong choices that ultimately lead to this divorce and this situation that they’re now in.

And he’s hurt more people than he realizes or knows because my family feels it as well…this is another of those things that has more of a ripple effect that some/a lot of people realize or know sometimes.

It’s just the thing that I’m working through with my emotions etc. and thinking of lately that really has me feeling betrayed and hurt is that…

I trusted him…I gave him the ultimate thing when I placed my child with him and in his care for him to play the role of the father to her and he just threw it away now. Of course, it was gradual…and not all at once, but ultimately now he has thrown that away and I feel like he threw my trust out the window and stomped on it…whether he will ever see how he betrayed me and my trust as well as betraying and hurting the trust of his wife and my 7 yr. old, I don’t know, but he did.

My feeling of being betrayed, of course, doesn’t compare to how his wife, my 7 yr. old’s mom is feeling and what she has to process through and what my 7 yr. old will feel and perhaps have to process through one day, but on another level…it is there.

I trusted him completely and with my child and he betrayed me and that trust.

Not that it’s new, my trusting someone and being betrayed…I just never thought that my 7 yr. old’s adad would betray me and my trust in him this way.

I think part of why this is hard for me on some level and more to process through is because it also brings up some of my past when I trusted and was betrayed by my ex-husband and now by the adad of my 7 yr. old.

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