‘Waxing Philosophical’ or just random thoughts…

I was thinking yesterday how I love music and I should listen to it and dance again like I use to…but then after listening to some music…I remembered part of why I don’t listen to it as much anymore…it gets me thinking too deep of thoughts and going down memory lane or things that sometimes leave me somewhat melancholy…

Strange how music can do that to you, isn’t it…I just found myself pondering all sorts of things…deep things that even hurt my head when I think about them too much or too often like what the bigger picture is that I don’t fully see yet…like what all my part is to play in it…thinking of the future, the present, the past and how it all fits together and how it all makes me who I am so I can do my part here.

I’ve been remembering how much fun I had when I was younger, when I went out dancing with my friends all the time, when I and life was more carefree to an extent it seems…geez reading and writing these thoughts makes me feel older somehow and not just older by age…older in my soul…ya know.

Thinking of how it’s interesting to me how things have all come together for me to get to this point of where I am in my life even all the ‘mistakes’ I’ve made all worked together to help me progress in life somehow. But since God knows all things…He knew I would do everything I’ve done…so were my ‘mistakes’ really all mistakes or essential to my part here…oh I know some of them were ‘mistakes’ or wrong choices…but part of each ‘mistake’ was not really a ‘mistake’ cause it lead me somewhere I needed to go and be and taught me many much needed lessons in life…and of course, I’m not done yet…I wonder if I’m even halfway yet…hmm my head’s kinda hurting…=p.

I feel something coming again…I’ve felt this way before…I’ve had this happen before…I’m not sure if it’s really good or bad, but rather it just is…is the best way I can describe it…something is coming in my life and something is waiting or maybe it’s someone (maybe it has to do with having a child that will be my first to keep and raise…) but I feel it’s even more than what I can grasp with my brain right now…whatever is coming…it will be both good and bad and will put me out of my comfort zone…I’m not sure I’ll totally like whatever it is…but I know it should be good for me…

It’s like there’s something right in front of me or around me that I can’t quite reach or see, but I know it’s there waiting…if that makes any sense.

I think my ramblings and deep thinking here is getting a little too weird now…maybe after a little while longer or something…I’ll understand this feeling better…

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