Well, that crappy depressed mood/feeling has mostly gone away now…thankfully it didn’t last very long. My boyfriend and I talked and made up so that helped a lot and then the weather and things cleared up too :).
Oh and then I got a nice long newsie letter updating me on my 2 yr old and her family and what they’ve been up to and I got lots and lots of pictures. My 2 yr old’s mom was only able to get about half of the pics sent to me via e-mail so tomorrow/Monday, she said she’ll get the rest sent to me, but there’s about 52 pics in all that she’s sending so I was really excited about that plus happy cause my boyfriend and I made up and everything :).
I mean just getting the pics and letter alone from my 2 yr old’s mom was enough to make the world better, ya know, but then to be with my boyfriend with everything fine again was the other half that made it better and then to talk with my parents on the phone and have the weather clear up finished making the world as good as possible for now :). Oh and did I mention, my boyfriend is going to do this out of state summer job so we won’t be together for like 3 1/2 months or something like that while he does this job…but he found out where he’s going to be going for this job…California =). He was really excited about that and so am I because that means he won’t be way far away from Utah and I can go visit him during the summer in California if I want (like I’m not going to go visit him duh lol). My sister lives in Cali too so if I wanted, I could maybe go see her and him too although I’m not sure how close where he’ll be staying is to where my sister lives, but it’s a thought.
And then we talked about quite a few things with making up after our disagreement from the other day and one of the things was marriage, of course. We were talking and he all wanted me to give him my word that I’d marry him…I was like we can do some sort of promise thing if you want me to give you my word because I will marry you…there’s no doubt about that. I’d be a fool and regret it for all the days of the rest of my life and so forth if I didn’t marry him because he’s compliments me, completes me and is my match in like every way. I know I’m suppose to be with him and he’s suppose to be with me…I know it more and more as time goes on and we go through things and learn more about each other. I also keep finding that I love him more each day and I don’t know how it’s possible, but I keep loving him more and our love keeps growing stronger every day. Oh and he asked me what my ring size is so he wants me to figure out and tell him my ring size so it’s definitely going to happen just not yet, but it’ll probably happen before I know it because time keeps going by so fast with everything, ya know =).
Okay so I think that’s all for my update…just wanted to let ya know I’m doing much better now and oh, I’ll post a couple of the recent pics of my 2 yr old on here after this post. She’s just too adorable and cute =)!!!
That reminds me of another thing about my boyfriend…I was mentioning to him when he was with me and saw the pictures in the e-mail of my 2 year old etc. that I said to him, “Ya know, that at some point I’ll tell our kids about my two girls, their sisters (half-sisters), and that my two girls won’t be secrets from our kids or stuff”. Then he said,”Yeah, I know” and I said, “you know, it’s possible that our adoption relationships might open up more in the future and they might visit us and our family or we might visit them, my girls and their families” and he said, “yeah, I know”. Then I said, “ya know that no matter what at some point when A & K, my two girls are older, they’re going to probably want to come meet/visit and get to know me/us and our family and I’m pretty sure I’ll end up having some kind of relationship/friendship with each of my girls where they’ll be around us and our kids at some point later in life” and he said, “yeah, I know and I’ll help support however I can and you know I don’t know much about this so I’ll be learning about this as it goes too”. Then I said, “well, you know I’m still learning about this all as it goes too so we’ll figure things out with that and things with my two girls as time goes on” and he was like “yeah, I know and I wouldn’t expect you to ever forget your girls or not have them in your life or expect that your girls and their families wouldn’t want to be in your life either” so that’s some more bonus points for me with him. The fact that he’s willing to accept, work through/on and figure things out as they happen/change etc. with my adoption relationships with my girls and how they might affect our future kids and family and so forth. I mean I just said all that to him while I was thinking about it because I wanted to make sure he knew that I wasn’t going to ever stop having contact or relationships with my girls or their families and I wasn’t ever going to hide them from our future kids or what not. I wanted to see what his thoughts and reactions were to the possibility of what if we did open things up to include visits in the future between our families and to his reaction of knowing that my girls and I would meet and visit and have some kind of relationship between us at some point whether we ever include visits or not and he gave the right kind of answers and responses to everything I said. He’s definitely a keeper in more than one way.
Sometimes, I don’t know how I got so lucky to find him. He also dropped a hint or two about something it sounds like he’s planning to surprise me with on Valentine’s Day so that’ll be interesting to see what happens on Valentines next month =).
Okay I’m going to post those pics of my 2 yr old now and I hope everyone else is doing alright =).