Reminded of Why…

I was reading through some other blogs today that I hadn’t read in a while and was reminded of the horrible pain and anguish that is still out there.  I know it’s out there and I’ve experienced it too and I have my good and bad days too, but sometimes I forget for a while about that pain that’s still out there and that I once lived and breathed, it seemed for almost every day.

I always feel so bad for others when I read of their pain and feel it wash over me while I’m reading what they say.  I always feel so helpless when I feel the intensity of others pain wash over me so intensely because I wish I could offer them more help than I can as another human being.  I wish I could help them through the desert of pain and grief and to know that there is something good at the end of all the crap even though on somedays it doesn’t seem like it will ever end and I know that even my simple words of offering hope aren’t good enough and they aren’t what they want to hear when they’re in the depths of despair with pain overwhelming them because I remember being there and what it was like.

I had my dark days and sometimes I still do, but I don’t know if my dark days compare to some others, but I’ve tasted the bitterness of despair and depression and overwhelming pain that causes my heart to physically ache and somehow made it through to the good point in my life where I am now.  I know that part of why I made it to where I am now and how I make it every day is because of the Lord and His help in my life because He is the one who is always there for me and I know that not everyone believes in God or what not and I don’t want to offend…I’m simply sharing that my belief in the Lord and my religious beliefs along with my family and support systems are what help me make it through the dark days.

It’s just that when I am reminded of those dark days and feel that pain wash over me reading of someone else’s dark days, I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing and why I want to be a counselor, which sometimes I seem to lose sight of some of why I want to go into counseling so much.  I know why I want to be a counselor and help others so much though…I may partially lose the whole picture of why I’m going for the goal of becoming a counselor on some days, but I want to help others so much and want to offer them any part of peace, help and comfort that I can that it’s hard to wait and go through this long process of school and getting my degree that says I am qualified to help and counsel others.

I want so much to share and offer some part of the peace and comfort that I’ve found if I can and I sometimes simply want to hug everyone and let them cry until they can’t cry anymore and just tell them that it’ll be alright one day.  I just want to let them know that someone cares…even when it seems like no one cares…someone does…I care…even if I don’t know them that well…I care…simply because they’re human and they’re special in their own way and they deserve love, empathy and healing and happiness just like everyone does.

This strong desire I have to help others has sometimes been my downfall as well though, but I sometimes wish I could take others pain away and go through the hard times for them, but I know I can’t.  I know that everyone has to go through their own hard times and experience their own dark days so I just want to be there for them cheering them on.  I want to be one of the ones that is there for them when they’ve made it through their hard times they had to experience on their own and I want to be someone who is next to them when they need someone as much as I can be.  I know things will be a little different once I’m a licensed professional therapist, but I’m becoming a therapist mainly to be another human being that is there, that cares, that listens, loves and offers help, sympathy, hope and whatever help I can to another human being who is struggling through life and their dark days and needs an extra someone to be there for them.

Everyone deserves to have someone there for them, to have someone listen, love and help them and I hope that in some way I can help these others out there in the world whoever they may be that need that extra someone there for them sometimes in their lives.