I’m Proud of My Sister!!!

Okay so I meant to write this a while ago, but forgot, got sidetracked and so forth, but I just have to say that I am very proud of my sister.

As some of you may know and remember she had and placed a son for adoption back when she was 18 years old and he will be 22 years old this month.  Well, as some of you may know, with my big sis being from the closed adoption era, she didn’t ever really talk about it much or anything until recently when I’ve been talking to her more about it every once in a while and such since I’ve had and placed my two girls.

I’ve been wondering about my birth-nephew and if he’s looking for us, wanting, hoping to know and see him one day, but my sister hasn’t ever really wanted to talk about him or anything until a little more recently when I’ve gotten her to talk about him and things a little more.  Well, I think it was a combination of time, changes she’s been making in her own life, my talking with her about my girls and trying to get her to open up more and some people and situations that have recently happened and been around her in her new home she recently moved into within the past 3-6 months or so, but she took a big step just recently in regards to talking and such about her son she placed/gave up for adoption when she was 18.

So, I’m proud of my sister because she told me that just a little while ago some situations and discussions came up with her daughter, my niece, who’s 16, because of someone they knew who just found out her daughter was pregnant and was trying to decide whether to place or to parent the child.  Anyway, what happened was one day my sister and her daughter (my niece) were out shopping together and my niece started telling my sister how she could never give her baby up and so forth and finally my sister told my niece to stop because she didn’t know because my niece hadn’t been there and couldn’t say because my niece hadn’t had to make the choice herself.  My niece kept going on still after my sister told her to stop and so forth so my sister said no you need to stop, you don’t know, you haven’t been there, I’ve been there and I placed/gave up a son/child for adoption because of how much I loved him and wanted what was best for him.

Then my niece (16 yr old) was like you’ve been there, you’ve had to go through that, really?  And my niece proceeded to ask my sister a bunch of questions about adoption, how it was for my sister placing her son and everything.  My niece wanted to see pictures of him or know more about him too, but as it’s closed my sister didn’t have much info or pictures to give or share with my niece.  So, anyway my sister and my niece (her daughter) get home from shopping and she runs to her sister (my other niece – 15 yrs old) and tells my sister (her mom) to tell her too so she has a conversation with her other daughter (other niece – 15 yrs old) about this son she placed when she was 18 and then when her other son, who’s about to turn 20, comes over, my 16 yr old niece runs to my sister and tells her to tell him too.  So, my sister has now told 3 of her 4  bio-children about their brother (half-brother) that is almost 22 that she placed/gave up for adoption and all 3 of them thought that was pretty cool although both my nieces especially my 16 yr old niece was really excited to find out she had another older brother out there somewhere.

And so I’m really proud of my sister for telling 3 of her 4 kids now about their brother (half-brother) she placed almost 22 years ago now.  I thought it was great that the 3 kids she’s told so far responded pretty okay and that my nieces got kind of excited to know they had another older brother out there.  She hasn’t told her other son about the one she placed/gave up yet because he’s only about 10 yrs old right now and she didn’t think it was a good time to tell him right now and she hasn’t told her two step-daughters about it yet either and that’s because they’re younger too, not way young, but young around her other son’s age that she hasn’t told yet.

I think it’s great and good progress for my sister to have told 3 of her 4 bio-kids about her son/their half-bro that she placed for right now and that she’s been a little more open in talking about him with her 3 kids that know and some other people around her new neighborhood and job here and there.  I think she’s making progress to being more okay with him finding her and thinking of the concept of possibly seeing him again one day and what she’d do, but she’s still got a ways to go, but I was really proud of her for making this much progress.

It was a big deal for me to hear about it and for her to do so I can’t say enough about how proud I am of her :D.

6 comments on “I’m Proud of My Sister!!!

  1. Yeah, I didn’t know about that approach either, but I didn’t say anything about it for now because I knew how hard it was for her to talk about it at all.

  2. Definately progress!

    I have to disagree with the “you havent been there” approach though– maybe the daughter really does know that she could never do that…

  3. Yeah, I think she’ll talk to the other kids about it eventually, but I don’t know that she’ll do it right now, but then again she might. She surprised me when she told me she’d told and been talking about it with her 3 kids so far, but I’m glad she has talked to them about it at least for now.

    I’ve also been wondering if she’ll want to look for him at some point in the future here and kind of hoping she’ll want to look for him too, but we’ll see what happens.

  4. That is amazing! Good for her; I think that she might want to talk to the other children about it, too, though. You know how 15 and 16 year-old girls can be – we’ve been there! lol Most likely the younger kids will find out through them sooner or later, but it would be better if it comes from your sis herself, you know? I wonder if she’ll try to look for him…..

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