Oh, this is bad…I’m freakin out even more now…it’s just that okay when I say this is bad, I mean this is really good, but I say bad cause I’m kind of scared and nervous about it all on and off after all that I’ve been through in the past, ya know.
Anyway, when we hung out earlier tonight/last night, (Friday night), first of all I had fun and loved it and loved being with him again as always. But then this one time we were hanging out with his roommates/friends on this group date and they asked if we wanted or needed a knife to eat with at dinner, which we didn’t, but anyway I was joking around so I said yeah I want a knife so I can do a mini sword fight or something with it with Cory. Then Cory says but you wouldn’t want to hurt me and I said why not and he looks at me and says because you love me and I was a little taken aback by him saying that for a second and then I was like how do you know if I love you or not. Then he was like I know you and just smiles knowingly at me and I’m like ha ha and change the subject.
Well, later on we’re driving in the car following his friends to wherever we’re suppose to be going and his watch was doing this annoying beeping thing. So, I told his watch to be quiet lol and then Cory all says in response to my telling his watch to be quiet, “Yeah, I love you too” (he said in a way that wasn’t really serious, ya know, don’t know how to describe how he said it) and I was like I was telling your watch that not you.
So, at the end of the date, we were sitting and talking in the car for a while before we went our separate ways as always. I was watching him, he was watching me and then he was stroking my cheek and my hair and just looking at me with this really intense look and I couldn’t handle it so I had to look away. Then I was sitting there in one of these intense moments when we were gazing at each other and I just looked at him and thought to myself, “I love him”, Oh my gosh, I love him.
When I thought to myself that I love him I felt like I was going to explode. My heart felt like it was going to burst and I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I didn’t even feel this way about my ex-husband either.
I haven’t said this out loud or anything, of course, because I’m waiting to see if he says something or not because I don’t know if I want to say it yet or first so I’m just waiting to see.
And it all continues on…