Stupid Games We Play

Anyone else think it’s dumb how we play these silly games when we’re dating and in relationships and are totally gone or ‘twitterpated’ over someone?

I just hung out with my boy earlier tonight and here I am again…still playing these silly games.  Well, I do still have insecurities to deal with that rear their ugly heads every so often here too, which would explain some of the silly games I play, but some of it is just because that’s the dating game.  I wonder who it was that ever came up with these dating games or how things go like this though because it gets really annoying to deal with sometimes, ya know.

It’s just, I guess, I’m feeling a little more vulnerable and insecure again because tonight when we were hanging out and talking, he ended up finding out more about me.  I don’t know how it happened, but I ended up opening up more and sharing stuff with him that I never intended to say or share.  Well, at least I never intended to share for a while still, but I did end up sharing for some reason and now I feel even more vulnerable and stuff :p.

It’s not fair how he seems to do so well with reading me like an open book on some of these things.  It’s not fair how well he knows me and is starting to know me, ya know.  I know him pretty well too, but it’s like he keeps teasing me about how ‘twitterpated’ I am over him and I feel like I’m sitting here going so I’m the one that likes you a lot and you don’t, you just like me, but not a lot like I like you, right :p. 

I mean, I’m not sure how much he likes me, but I know he likes me  a lot, but I don’t know if he likes me a lot like I like him a lot, if that makes sense :p.  He did tell me it was good to see me when we saw each other though and I guess that was his way of saying he had missed me in code or something. 

He’s also figured out that I have/get butterflies when he kisses me and he’s a pretty dang good one now compared to the first time we kissed.  I don’t know how he does it, but I end up melting and being like putty in his hands when he kisses and holds me close like he does – aaahhh.  I get butterflies just remembering and thinking about it now :p.

He’s figuring out all the things that he does or says that give me butterflies and/or warm fuzzies as well as make me happy.  It’s not fair that he’s figuring these things all out already.

Well and then we hung out for quite a while and didn’t want to leave because we’re both going home Thursday – today/tomorrow for the weekend.  Yeah so we were having a hard time going our separate ways to go home and all because we’re not going to see each other at all this weekend.  We won’t see each other until next week sometime.

Then when we were all saying goodnight and bye, we kissed and said goodnight, have fun this weekend and all.  Well then as he’s leaving, he’s all drive safe, be careful and I’ll see you whenever…I was like, like next week and he was all yeah ya know whenever next week like Monday, Tuesday and so forth.

So, I was like okay have fun, bye and then I left and was all thinking what is that…”see you whenever?!”  I was like, oh great, that means he doesn’t want to see me again, he’s scared of knowing how much I like him or something.

Well, I started thinking about it and I realized this is part of the stupid games we play…right there…him saying that to me was probably him trying to play it cool like he’s not going to miss me or anything.  So, what do I do – I go into my ‘be a tough girl’ mode and act like I don’t care :p.

Yeah, now I’m catering to the silly dating games myself and all thinking well fine he’s just gonna see me whenever.  So, I thought this to myself, well, if he’s going to be that way then I can play that too :p.  I thought fine, well, I’m not going to text or call him…if anyone calls or texts, it will be him first.  Oh and I also thought, okay so he just wants to see me whenever, well then I’m going to see how long I can go without caving into him when he wants to hang out again. 

Why am I thinking about or maybe going to do this dumb game?  I don’t know, just cuz I got upset because he said “I’ll see ya whenever”.  I know, I’m being dumb and whatever, but we’ll see.  I’m interested to see how long until he texts or talks to me and how long until he wants to hang out with me next week – mr. hot shot, play it cool man himself :p lol.

Edited to add: I’m so dumb sometimes lol.  I can’t believe I even thought any of this after we hung out.  Well and he may just like me as much as I do him after all *giggles*, he already started texting/talking to me again.  Shame on me for thinking such things or being insecure, I know :p :).

Okay and can I just say that it’s annoying when people online who think they know you and that they’re your friend, when really they know nothing about you try to tell you that you need to be more cautious with how you’re dating – *rolls eyes*. 

Just to clarify, I’m not referring to any of my friends here with this blog or what not, I’m referring to an idiot guy on myspace that apparently thinks it’s his right and job to worry about me and my dating…just cause he’s not happily married and probably secretly wishes he could be with me and since he’s not happily married, he thinks no one else can be happy either or some crap like that :p blah. 

I mean it was annoying when he said something to me about how he was worried about my dating Cory and thought I should be more careful…I was like um, Hi, you don’t even really know me or Cory for that matter or even half of the story and what’s gone on so like what gives him the right to think he can say that – oh yeah, he doesn’t have the right – idiot *rolls eyes*.  Seriously, I think I deserve more credit that this idiot’s giving me thinking I need to be more cautious with my dating!


4 comments on “Stupid Games We Play

  1. Hi – It’s great to read such topical stuff on the Web as I have been able to discover here. I agree with much of what is written here and I’ll be coming back to this site again. Thanks again for publishing such great reading material!!

  2. Stupid thing cut off my comment so the rest of that commment above was this…

    Notice how I say so far though, which means there’s still some insecurity there, but it is slowly improving as time goes on.

    It’s basically just like I’ve said to my Dad though, that I’m like holding my breath as things happen and while I see where this is going. It gets kind of stressful and pretty scary sometimes, all this holding my breath and waiting to see how things go and what happens :p.

  3. Yeah, I totally know what you’re saying.

    I wish I could tell you whether it was just in your head too because it’s been a relief for me so far when Cory texts/talks to me after I freak out and realize it has all been in my head so far,

  4. Oh Anne.. I needed this post this morning… I am totally falling into the insecure thing right now. I just wish I knew whether is is unfounded and just in my head… or if I should really be feeing that way. We are so parallel….

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