Bad Day

Daniel Powter – Bad Day

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Okay so it wasn’t the worst day I’ve had, but it wasn’t the best day either.  It was a day kind of like the day in this song, it started out not so good and ended up pretty good after all.

It’s just that when I woke up this morning, I had a bad dream lingering that affected my mood.  And then well I’m a girl and I’ve been moody lately, need I say more lol :p.

Anyway, it ended up alright because I got on an upswing with my moodiness and I had some chocolate too lol :D.  Well and then I did talk/text with Cory tonight too so that helped my day end on a better note than it started on this morning.

Although my fears and insecurities with being vulnerable have manifested themselves again, of course, and that doesn’t help me or my moods :p.  Yeah so if you visit my myspace page you’ll see the song, “I Bruise Easily” by Natasha Bedingfield on there now because I’ve been feeling vulnerable, insecure and what not again.  I really hate dealing with that too!

It’s just the more I hang out, become better friends with Cory and get to know him better, the more I sometimes feel vulnerable, nervous, afraid etc. of what may or may not happen in the future.  I don’t know how to explain it, if you know me or you’re a girl, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about though.  It sucks though, it really sucks!

Well and it’s like one day I’ll have the thought of everything’s good and I’m okay with hanging out with Cory and being vulnerable.  Then another day, I’ll have the thought of what in the heck am I thinking letting myself get close to him or him get close to me as friends or anything?!!?!  I’ll find myself thinking I need to run and hide somewhere because I don’t want to get broken like I was before. 

Well and at first, I’ll just be thinking run and hide to be safe from Cory and what if he hurts me to I should run and hide from all guys again.  I hate being vulnerable and everything, can you tell lol. 

Well and I know I shouldn’t compare Cory to these other idiots I’ve been broken and burned by and I know Cory is completely different and like the best kind of guy I’ve ever been around in a long time.  It still is hard for me and can be pretty scary sometimes going into this whole new realm of possibilities and being vulnerable again.

I think I’ll be fine and I’ll survive no matter what happens with Cory or any other guy for that matter, but it still just freaks me out sometimes, ya know what I’m saying here :p.