I don’t know why exactly, but my heart’s just been hurting more than usual in the past hour or so. I mean it’s hurt like this before, but it’s been a while since I felt this pain in my chest when my heart was hurting.
I don’t like it when my heart hurts like this and I feel an actual physical pain there. It hurts so much when it does this every once in a while that it makes me wonder if I’m having a heart problem, which I know I’m not, it just hurts and bothers me when it does this every once in a while.
I was just watching something on TV or a movie and got triggered and started to cry. Then for some reason after crying, I found myself thinking about all the pains, heartaches etc. I’ve been through that could have been triggered and could have been what I was crying about for a while there.
Then I guess thinking and bringing back some of these memories back to the surface along with the emotions was too much all at once for me, for my heart tonight because it started hurting. Now I have a physical pain in my chest because my heart is hurting and aching over these things of the past again like it does every so often.
I don’t like when my heart feels like this. I hope the pain subsides and goes away for a while again soon here.
I keep thinking of R.E.M.’s song, Everybody Hurts and one of Vertical Horizon’s songs that says When I cry inside and my insides blow apart or something like that. These are some of the songs that describe some of how I’m feeling at the moment with my heart hurting and having just been all emotional.