From Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Life's Great (Wish It Was Good All the Time…)
But hey, I'll take what I can get for happy days and being on a high with happiness and things going good with my life.
I'm doing great and on a high with happiness and things going good lately. I found out my grades for this last semester today and that just boosted my happiness up even more because I passed my math class. I was kinda worried about passing that class, but I passed – YAY me. Now I just have to wait for my official Associates degree to come in the mail. It'll be coming right around my birthday so that's gonna be a great birthday present to myself to get my degree in the mail right around my birthday this year =).
I put together Mother's Day packages to send to my girls moms today and I'm gonna finish them and send them on Friday since I'll be out of town from the 6-10 so I want to make sure they'll get there in time for Mother's Day on the 14th. I'd rather have them get the Mother's Day packages early than late. I hope they like what I got them. I can't wait to see what they're gonna send me this year – I just want pictures and home movies are always a plus when I get them too.
So, life is good and I'm good. I can't wait to move out in August and everything – now I've got to go apply and look for a summer job, well as soon as I get back from my trip next week, I'll have to look more =).
I've just been having one of those really happy, good times in my life lately and I was feeling so full of happiness and gratitude for my life and everything that I have going for me right now that I felt like I was going to overflow from all this happiness. I mean is it possible to have too much happiness – you'd think not, right, but it almost seems like my happiness and everything couldn't get any better yet with every day that passes, it seems that my happiness and all somehow does get even better. I keep thinking it can't get any better than this and then somehow it does. I feel truly blessed with my life and happiness lately – so much so that I don't know how to express my feelings. I feel like I have a permanent smile and look of pure bliss on my face every day nowadays.
I was thinking to myself just a little while ago that things couldn't get any better than this. My life couldn't be going good and any better, all things considered, than it is, unless I had a great guy I was friends with and dating. Of course, the unspoken, also is that my life couldn't be any better unless things were more open etc. with my girls, but I take what I can get with the openness level we have for now and keep waiting patiently and working on developing the best relationship with each of my girls and their families hoping for more future openness one day.
Anyway, overall, all things considered, life is good and I'm blessed to have what I do have with my girls and their families and what I have with me and going on in my life in the present. It seems that if life is this great for me when I'm single, it would be that much greater for me when I find a great guy and get married one day.
I hope that everyone can find happiness in their lives and be content all things considered. I only wish the best for my ex-husband and all my exes although I'm further with forgiveness of some of my exes.
As I sit here feeling so great and happy, I can't help but think, in the back of my mind, that in a week or two, when it's Mother's Day and closer to/around that time, that I may not feel as happy as I am right now. I'll probably be a little down and going through some grief when it's that Mother's Day time again, but that's all part of what comes with being a firstmother to two girls.
I just want to bask and enjoy this happy time now because I know a down time may be coming so this happy time is that much more important to me to help me get through the down times in the future.