For the Lord and all the many, many countless blessings He has given me and continues to give me each and every day of my life. For His unconditional love and patience and mercy and understanding and forgiveness etc. that he gives me and shows to me each day of my life. For His atonement.

For being able to go to church and for temples and for being able to feel of the Lord’s spirit and His love for me each and every day.

For prayer and being able to communicate with the Lord and be comforted and strengthened by Him.

I’m grateful to be alive and to have good health and strength.

For modern medicine and all the treatments, cures and such that they have for so many things so that we can all be healthy.

For my totally amazing and awesome husband, He’s my perfect match and my best friend and so many awesome things.

For my family – I have good parents and siblings…especially glad I have my amazing Dad.

For my family that I’ve started with my husband now…I love our little baby girl so, so much already and she can be a handful and time consuming etc. at 4 weeks old, but she brings me/us so much joy that my heart is always so full and happy when I look at her and think of how lucky I am to have her and my husband/best friend in my life. I’m so glad I went through all the bad I did to get to the good and these amazing blessings that I have in my life like my husband and our baby girl.

For my other two beautiful and amazing daughters and their families that I placed them with…I love them and their families so much and am so grateful for all their love and support and the awesome friendships/relationships I have with them that are continuing to grow and develop in such positive ways.

For technology and all the awesome, fun things that are out there with gadgets etc. and the others that are being invented and for all the great ways we can use technology for spiritual things, life, fun, games, schooling and so many other things.

For all the fun games and things that we can play and do with all our family and friends.

For all the enrichment and fulfillment that comes from accomplishing goals, setting them, reaching them and being able to change for the better and expand our knowledge from all the multitude of books that there are to read, enjoy and learn from about so many incredible things.

For being able to have so many talents to share and to develop as well as new talents/skills to learn.

For all my strengths and weaknesses that teach me and help me to grow in many, many ways.

For all the trials and tribulations in my life that I’ve had/have/will have and all the things I’ve learned/continue to learn/and will learn from having my faith tried and tested to help me grow and learn to help myself, my family, friends and others.

For my ability to write and write well with practice and help from the Lord when I want/feel the need or desire to write poetry, stories and other things.

For my opportunity to serve a mission for the LDS church and to spread the word of the God to others and for all the countless opportunities I have had and will continue to have for so many incredible and wonderful things to experience and learn and grow from in my life.

For being able to have food, water and shelter and the things that I and our little family are in need of each and every day during this time when it isn’t always easy with finances and our economy.

For all my wonderful family and friends everywhere around the world that have helped me and continue to help me, set such great examples for me and be such incredible and good family and friends to me.

For all the things outside that make our world so beautiful with trees, mountains, grass, lakes, oceans and all the beautiful nature and wildlife/animals around us and pets that we’re able to have in our homes.

For cars to drive and use as transportation. For being able to be in a pretty safe area to live and to be able to have the Lord help watch over us and protect us each day along with being able to lock our doors and do what we can do to keep ourselves safe.

For being able to stay warm with heaters and cool with air conditioners in the winter and the summer.

For the moisture we receive with snow and rain that we need and for the beauty that comes with/whenever it snows and/or rains.

And for so many, many other things…but I’m going to end this for now and if I think of something else I want/need to add to this post during the rest of this week/month…then I’ll come back otherwise hope everyone else has a fantastic week and a delicious Thanksgiving with all their family and/or friends.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope it’s all you hope for and that your hearts as well as your stomachs will be full and you will be happy and full of gratitude .

ETA:  I did send a birthday present to my daughter, who turned 7 yrs old yesterday and talked to her mom a few days ago also so I didn’t forget Sweet Pea, her birthday or that she’s already 7 years old now…where does the time keep going…but I was otherwise occupied most of her birthday yesterday taking care of our little miss wiggles who turned 4 weeks old yesterday.  I also decided that if I feel sad or ever feel the need to be sad/upset etc. around Sweet Pea’s (7) birthday or Miss Bookworm’s (8 1/2) birthday…I’ll be sad or what not on the day I placed them not on their birthdays because the day when the sadness/hard feelings came was on the days that I placed my two girls not on the days they were born…but this year I haven’t felt as much sadness about Sweet Pea…I think because of how things are changing with my having and parenting a daughter with my husband now and because of how good my relationship/friendship is and has been with Sweet Pea’s family and all.

I make no promises about my blogging right now though since I just had my baby girl…she’s 2 weeks old tomorrow and I’m still in the early recovery stages and figuring out life/back to a more normal routine with hubby and a baby now.

It’s definitely very different having a baby and raising them instead of placing them…that much is obvious already and it’s a great thing too. I’ve been thinking of blogging for a little bit now but didn’t know what to say so there’s still more I’ll probably say another time or something, but for now this post will have to do for an update here.

I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy with how sick I was on and off and everything and then because Lil Miss Wiggles decided she wasn’t going to fully cooperate so she was breech and I had to have a C-section…it’s an interesting story/experience the way it happened really…but I’ll do that detailed story another time.

She’s adorable and gorgeous and melts your heart…she’s already the one ‘in charge’ of me and her Daddy over here right now…at least for now she is. We’re definitely smitten with her and despite the ups/downs and all of this year etc…we’re a little happy family now…we’ve started into the official family stage now and it’s not always going to be easy and it’s definitely an adjustment for us, but it’s so worth it.

As for the adoption front, I had a good long talk with my 8 yr old’s amom just a couple weeks before Lil Wiggles was born and either at the end of this month of November or in December, Hubby and I are going to schedule to hang out/meet up with my 8 yr old’s mom and hubby that she just married in June since she divorced the adad a while back as you may remember. Also we’re going to schedule to hang out/meet up with my 6 yr old’s parents…my 6 yr. old is turning 7 this month if you can believe that, I know it blows my mind that she’s turning 7 and the other will be turning 9 in March of this next year.

So, things on the adoption front are still going pretty good and improving with the scheduling to meet up with my 6 yr old’s parents so they can see our Lil Miss Wiggles, which we’ve hung out with them as often as possible before, but the big step is for us meeting up for the first time with my 8 yr old’s mom and new hubby…cause it will be the first time I’ve seen my 8 yr. old’s mom in 8 years and the first time I’ve met this new hubby of hers and the first time she’ll meet my hubby too…so we’re excited and nervous…but moving toward some more openness with meeting up with both my girls aparents is what I want to help our relationships and for when my girls start having more one on one interaction with me through e-mail/talking/meeting me or what have you.

So, yes my life’s been a little crazy and up and down recently this past year and my whole life’s been totally up and down and never quite what I planned, but it’s all worked out to this point and it will all work out in the end, otherwise it’s not the end…at least I think that’s how that saying goes.

But I would do my life the exact same even with all the crappy parts and the heartache and the hard times all over again and again because of the happy parts and the awesome parts and the rewards for going through the hard time and because it was all worth it to end up here with my awesome, amazing Hubby and my adorable angel baby girl that’s here with me now all the time always and forever .

ETA: Forgot to say the stats for Lil Miss Wiggles birth…she was born on Oct. 24, 2011 at 6:45 p.m. She weighed 8 lbs 2 oz and was 20 in long. She’s healthy and doing really well. She just had her 2 wk well baby check up this past Friday and has gained 3 oz. and grown 1/2 inch in about 2 wks and everything checks out with her and so far everything checks out with me for my progress at 2 wks of recovering from the C-section…no infection or anything wrong with the incision and it’s healing nicely…no stitches, I had staples, which they removed in the hospital and then put glue and tape- the steri-strip tape stuff on it and the Dr. took the tape off of it when he checked me out after we finished the 2 wk checkup on baby. Lil Wiggles has her next appt in 6 wks and mine for my 6 wk last check up until I’m pregnant again or need to see the Dr. again is in about a month to make sure I’m done healing and everything’s good to go all the way back to normal again for now. So things are going as they should with my healing/recovering and our adjusting with baby and all and we’re good .

That and I was pretty sick, like way bad and so not fun nausea/morning sickness for the past few months…I’ve just gotten over the being so sick phase and having to rely on anti-nausea medication to eat/drink within the past month.

Needless to say I’m really happy the really sick part of the pregnancy is pretty much over. Of course, I still have to watch what I eat and so forth so I don’t eat the wrong thing or what not and get sick again. I also still take my anti-nausea medication once in a blue moon if I feel it’s needed, but I’m pretty much off the medication unless absolutely necessary now so things have improved with that drastically, which I’m very grateful for cause I don’t think I could handle how sick I was for very much longer than I did.

I am/have been speculating that it might or should be a boy cause of how sick I was cause I was never that bad with either of my girls and some other random things, but I don’t know what it is yet.

But trust me, I will be finding out if it’s a boy or a girl…I’m going in for an ultrasound this coming Tues, Jun.7…next week…in just a few days.

Here’s to hoping we will be able to find out if it’s a boy or a girl on Tues .

Other than that, there hasn’t been a ton going on…both my girls are doing good as are their families. I’ve recently talked/emailed etc with both of my girls moms within the past little while.

They’re both really excited for me and want to know what’s going on with me, Hubby and the baby as things happen and they both can’t wait to find out if I’m having a boy/girl and so forth.

Anyway, things are still going good with both my girls and their families and our relationships/friendships as far as the adoption front goes. Things are also still good with Hubby and I and now things are good/much better with me, baby and pregnancy since I’m not dying/way sick anymore.

Other than that, there’s a few other life things/family things going on here and there that are just a part of life.

So, I’m alive, I’m good and everything’s pretty much fine…and I haven’t had much to say lately on here so there ya go.

Yay!!! I just went to the Dr.’s this afternoon and got the positive pregnancy test and info but don’t start going to regular checkups for about another month.

So, around Halloween this year Hubby and I will have a little goblin he hee.

I’m still waiting to talk to my girl’s moms….I can’t wait to talk to them about it…I keep waiting for them to show up online and wishing I had their phone numbers…I did have them, but switched to a new phone so don’t have the numbers again yet .

I’ll update more as I know more and have more time…lots of people to tell and it’s been a little crazy sharing the news today .

Not yet anyway…although I will most likely share what I know…soon enough =p.

So yeah I’m just a little hyper and having fun with my new gadget toy here lol.

Hope everyone’s having fun =).

From coming home on cloud nine after serving an LDS mission to Uruguay and crashing to the bottom with marrying, being abused and then divorcing my first husband, which seems like another lifetime and such a faint memory now, to getting involved with more loser type guys and having and placing my two girls and going up and down on the rollercoaster of life and planning to marry one guy after being together for around a year and a half to ending up with the best guy for me that I’m with now…it’s been an amazing rollercoaster of life these past 11 years and most of them/ a lot of the time I’ve been down and fighting my way back to the top from all my hits and times spent at rock bottom.

I never thought I’d feel this way again…all the way myself again back in tune with the Lord, His Spirit and everything else…but after all the crap and heck of a long rollercoaster ride, I guess is one way to put the past 11 years…I feel like I did 11 years ago before I went through everything I did except that now all those things are incorporated into me and my life and I can and do still feel all the way happy and like myself again.

It’s so awesome and amazing to look at where I was, what I went through and to where I am now and see how the Lord has helped me and been with me through the whole thing.

Anyway, I don’t know how to explain it in words just right more than this right now…other than I’m just so freakin happy about this monumental progress and return to myself/completely being myself right now.

I’m going to see about finding a song or two that helps to describe and express more of what I’m feeling in regards to this post and all.

Hope everyone’s had good times for the Holidays. We had a visit with Sweet Pea’s parents last night, just us two and her mom and dad…we hung out, played some Wii games, talked, Sweet Pea’s mom showed me some home movies and pictures too…I saw the home movie of Sweet Pea (6) finishing the scavenger hunt that Sweet Pea’s mom did to tell Sweet Pea and her sister about their trip to Disneyland…which they’re going end of Jan/beginning of Feb.

It’ll be Sweet Pea’s first time to Disneyland and she’s WAY excited for it lol. I watched the home movie and couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at Sweet Pea running around and bouncing up and down all so freakin excited for Disneyland. It was awesome to see the little home movie of her reaction to finding out about their trip to Disneyland and the way her face lit up and was so full of joy and happiness…it’s seeing and hearing about things like that with Sweet Pea (6) as well as Miss Bookworm (7 1/2) that I absolutely LOVE and continually remind and give me peace of mind about them doing so well, being so loved and everything with their families.

Anyway, Hopefully Hubby will be getting a job soon and it’s a job he’d like doing and not just a job to earn money so we’re keeping our fingers crossed for that plus he’s doing great with his online schooling also.

So, we’re doing good, hanging in there and had a great Christmas and New Years etc. Hoping for things to keep going well and improve so here’s to 2011 being a great year .