As you can see by the title of this entry, I'm feeling frustrated with men recently. Or should I say lack of men as in lack of good men and having my feelings reinforced of there being few and far between of the good kind of men I hope to find.
Yeah, I'm happily single, but I have my times where I wish I could have a decent prospect in the dating scene. I have my times where I would like to find a decent, good man to be with and it seems to be getting harder to find him lately.
Okay so this recent bout of frustration with men and all was brought on because I went to a dance this past Friday night and was very unimpressed with the quality of guys there. I felt very out of place and it seemed rather obvious to me that the guys at that dance were not on my level and I was disgusted with the lack of ambition among the guys I talked to there.
Of course, I've been somewhat disgusted with the lack of ambition among most guys I've talked with or know for quite some time now though. I just don't understand these guys that are all wandering around lost with no direction in their life.
Given I had my time where I was lost wandering around trying to find direction in my life, but I found my direction – some of these guys seem to never find a direction for themselves in their lives. I can say that I understand more now why good, worthwhile guys were turned off by me when I was just taking up space, wandering aimlessly with no direction in my life because now I feel that way about guys I meet who have no direction and seemingly no ambition of any kind in their life.
It's just that I'm about to turn 29 - ack, I know and I'm looking for something more substantial and concrete in a guy that's worthwhile. I'm looking for a guy who's secure in many ways about themselves and their lives and who can or could provide or help provide for a family. None of these no direction wandering guys are secure in much of anything nor can they or could they in the near future provide or give much help in providing for a family so that doesn't impress me much, ya know.
I'm also more picky about some things with guys than others, but that is my choice. It's just that at this dance on Friday night, I danced and talked with some guys and none of them really seemed to be secure or have much direction or ambition in life.
Well, first off, I talked with this guy who's just kind of passing through town, not going to school and hasn't decided if he wants to look for a job or not so he's just bumming around – so unimpressive to me. Then this other guy hadn't been to school since he graduated high school in 97, wasn't going to school and didn't think he'd be going anytime soon and all he was doing was working a maintenance job at a warehouse – so impressive. Could you tell I was being a little sarcastic there – ha ha. Then this other guy wanted to write a column for a newspaper on opinions – which was a step up from the other two, but still I wasn't all that impressed by that – being a writer isn't that stable of a job. Well and another reason I wasn't impressed was because that hopeful writer guy was like only 18 or 19 – way too young for me.
Then I saw or ran into quite a few guys from my past there – hate when that happens and they were all the same as the last time I'd seen them. They were all still wandering, no direction and not sure what they wanted to do with life and they all still wanted to hang out with me - leechy kind of guys that have no direction in life that I don't like to hang out with at all.
There was also another guy who came to the dance with a few people and he came up to me like as soon as he walked in the door and was like don't I know you. I was like yeah I think you do and then we figured out we'd hung out at a dance in the past and he was all well, we can hang out again so he and I and this other girl and guy and little group were hanging out at the dance. Well it got weird when a slow song came on and this girl in the group got asked to dance by some guy and she said no I'm on a date and then she and this guy who came and talked to me and said hey we can hang out again here went to slow dance. So apparently this guy who all walks over to me right when he walks into the dance and talks to me and says we should hang out again like the other time we hung out at a dance was there at the dance with this girl on a date. Now I just thought that was weird.
I mean, do you know what I mean. I just think it's weird to take someone on a date to a dance like that in the first place because most people go there to hang out and meet people not to go on a date with someone they already know and like kind of thing. Then the really weird thing to me is why was he all coming over to me, to talk to me and invite me to hang out and everything like it was so cool to see me again and hang out with me when he was there on a date with this other girl. I mean that's just weirdo city to me, ya know.
So, anyway, that was my "fun" experience at this dance on this past Friday night that brought about this frustration vent about guys. Now ya know why I'm wondering where all the good guys have gone and where they're hiding after hearing about my experience at this dance this past Friday night.
It's just so irritating to me when I've gone through everything I have in my life and recently received my Associates degree after working and keeping at it for a long time and these guys don't seem to care much about college education or stable jobs/careers in life, ya know. Well and here I am getting ready to go off to college again this fall and pursue my Bachelors in Social Work and then my Masters so I can become a licensed social worker and hopefully one day also become a Psychologist with a PhD -Doctorate degree and these guys are doing nothing.
They're only working maintenance in warehouses or not even going to school or working – sometimes it almost seems like they're waiting around for a free ride from a more ambitious girl like myself to come along and save them from having to take responsibility, get direction and/or find a stable job etc. in life. I don't understand why these guys don't have more direction or a better job and why don't they go to college. I place so much importance personally on college education and so many guys are like college is a waste of time and money – augh.
Then, of course, I've broken up with my recent ex boyfriends because they've had no direction, been lazy, been mama's boys, had no college education or placed no importance on it and so on. Of course, there were lots of other factors in these recent break ups, but those were also key factors as well as the fact that these exes of mine wanted a free ride off of me and I wasn't going to give it to them. They freakin wanted me to be the sole breadwinner for the home and work all the time, while they stayed home and played and spent all the money I'd earn. In my view of things, that is not how it's suppose to work, the guy is suppose to be the sole provider for the family and when necessary the girl helps out, but she's not suppose to do it all herself – although it seems that's what everyone thinks nowadays at times – that's not how I view it, how I was brought up or what I'm looking for in a relationship/marriage either.
Anyway, it seems that the good men are becoming few and far between nowadays so I've just been having one of my frustrating times with that – blah de blah :p.